Friday Confessional 4.01

Please don't fall over from shock and awe. 

I'm alive. 

Thanks for the concerned emails and text messages.  I'm totally blessed to have such awesome BBFs.  I'm breaking out of my blogging hiatus to do some Friday Confessions, because Lord knows I've got 'em...AND I need to wish Mamarazzi the happiest FOXXY 40th EVER!!!  Be sure to stop by Mama's page today and wish her a happy birthday and link up to Friday Confessionals.  It'll totally make her day!
So, I confess...
  • I'm sorry I deserted you guys this week.  I've been wrapped up in a *achem* book...of sorts.  Ok, smut.  I've been reading smut.  It was kinda like "bye bye Blogger...and Facebook...and Twitter" and  "hello Kindle...and iBook...and PC".  I've been reading since Sunday and it was totally owning me.  Plus, there's work and a million other things that I've had going on.  So, sorry.  I swear on everything Twilight that I'll be back to my regular ol' blogging self next week.
  • I want just one day where I don't have to be work, no obligations, no one expecting me to be somewhere.  A day of nothingness.  OR a day on a sandy beach with a cute boy named "Edward" bringing me fruity adult beverages w/ little umbrellas.  Whichever.
  • I don't really like to accept money from my friends for things...I don't ever really feel like they own me for anything.  If I pay for something, it's because I want to.  HOWEVER, I do like to receive checks from Impulsive Addict She always writes on the memo line "pimping".  I feel like it gives me street cred.  I've contemplated asking her to write me monthly checks.
  • I know far too much about being a gangsta...all from the rap music I listen to, which is totally opposite of me.  I mean, I'm pretty sure that if any Joe Blow on the street walked by me, he wouldn't say "Man, that girl is totally gangsta."  I'm pretty sure I don't fit the part.  However, I know that if you gotta blue flag hangin' out yo back side and it's on the left side, you're a crypt.  Snoop Dogg taught me that.
  • Maybe when I grow up I can be a fly girl?  Remember JLo being a fly girl on In Living Color. 
  • I also confess that going out with my 3HOs3 last Friday night was a blast.  Let me give you all a word of advice.  Get yourself some smokin' hott friends (w/ nice assests) because they come with free drinks.  However, be prepared to realize that you don't got it...I mean "it".  Because guys will cat call them as you make a run through a bar.  You'll learn interesting pick up lines like "it's gettin' dangerous up in here" and "why you leaving so quick, there's plenty of room over here" and "hey there, bright eyes"...I was just waiting on a lame azz "God stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes" to follow.  I think we just nearly escaped that one.  By the end of the night, you'll take a big gulp of reality and know that those pick-up lines were not directed at you and you're never going to get cat called again and no one is probably ever going to buy you a drink...unless you're with your smokin' hott friends.  BUT you'll get LOTS of laughs and you'll almost pee your pants...and you'll have the best girls night.  So, it's worth it.
Hope you all have a FABULOUS Friday!!  I promise to make some blog rounds soon as I finish this next chapter, but I love you guys more than smut, so I'll be around.  Promise.


28 comments...I love comments:

Aly @ Analyze This said...

I was wondering where you had been!! I love all your posts! :)

I soooo want IA to write me a check! That is hilarious!!

Annnnd, I really need to come for a girls weekend in OK! I want to go out with y'all! It would be a blast!!

Have a great weekend!! Xo

Mom Mayhem says: said...

Yeah it is kinda funny how gangsta you are -but, then not really - Speaking of which maybe some of them cat calls were for you -I know I totally fit in with the gangstas -being a "shawty" and "junk in the trunk" ;)

Amy said...

We all need a break sometime and it feels sooo good when we get it.

I told IA already...boobs will get you everything! :)

Xazmin said...

I've MISSSSED you! I even gave you a shout-out on my post Wednesday!

I'm glad you had a good break though!

So glad you had so much fun with your hot friends.

But you are HOTT! So don't sell yourself short!!

brainella said...

Smut? What kind of smut? And should the rest of be reading it?

BTW -- no way you are gangsta. You are way too cute. You don't LOOK gangsta!

Life with Kaishon said...

You are so freaking cool : ) Bright eyes. LOVE that line.
I need to read a good book and put the computer away for the week. Do you think I can do it?

Impulsive Addict said...

YAAAAAY! You're back!!!!

I'm glad you told about your current obsession. You could have revealed even more if you had BIG GIRLBALLS! lol

I owe you another check too. Just wait for the memo line on THAT one. hehehehe

I love your gangsterness. I want to be just like you one day.

I love my 3HOs3. That was a pretty good GNO! We must repeat soon! ;) Next time, we'll tell MONA to wear something more low cut. I'm convinced that we'll get more free drinks.

Anonymous said...

I love a good GNO!
And now thinking about a shirtless Edward on a beach all sparkly.........WOW what a great thought ;)

Shawn said...

I'm so glad you're back but since I did email you regarding your absence I wasn't worried.

Reading does that to me too, everything stops until I'm done, everything!

THere;s more to the story, dish or I'll be forced to ask IA!

The fact that you rap and use gangster slang still kills me you so don't look the part!

I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told IA you're beautiful and funny and I love you no stop whining or I'll have to call you the same word I'm making up for her, it has vagina in it, you don't want that now do you?!!?

VandyJ said...

I am longing to gt that lost in a book. I'm thinking that camping this summer is the perfect opportunity to read all the smut I want. What, I love reading smut, it's so delicious and hubby gets to benefit too.

Kelli said...

You never fail to make me laugh. I was wondering the other day about where you were. I was thinking maybe Spring break. Seems like blogland is scarce these days. I loved the swearing on Twilight. Pimping...I love it. Man the Fly Girls were the best...I think we all wanted to be one.

starnes family said...

I don't even want to know why IA is writing you checks.

Stacie said...

Oh, how I missed you! But as long as you were doing something "educational," I'll excuse it.

I hope the cops don't swarm IA's house when they find out she's running a ho house, she really should pay you cash...and now Big Pimpin' is stuck in my head, so thanks for that...

stephanie said...

Oh my gosh, this cracked me up! Yes, you can totally be a fly girl. And a check with pimping in the memo? Would make my day too!

sarajo said...

So what smut were you reading?
And I've had that week. I haven't had to do anything. It's been great! Not looking forward to next week.

Amberly Adventures said...

I'm with Sara - what are you reading that is so good?

Last Sunday was my day to not be anywhere or have to do anything or answer to anyone. I needed it, and I LOVED it.

Have a great weekend!

April said...

You've been missed around here! I've been reading a really good book myself...I'll try to remember to share about it sometime next week. Yes, it would be nice to have just one day where you don't have anything on the calendar, but it's always SOMETHING!!! Have a terrific weekend!

Sheila said...

OMG - i love you!!!! LOL!
I'm TOTALLY part gangsta, too!!!
I sooo want to be a fly girl - i totally forgot about that!

And I can not WAIT to write "pimping" in the memo line of my next check to Brandy! HA!

Molly said...

What a riot, love the pick up lines! I've missed your blog this week, and your sarcasm. Hilarious about the check, my husband likes to write 'drugs/sexual favors' in the memo line if he has to write anyone a check, well he obviously doesn't do that with the offering check at church on Sunday's, HA!

Hope you're having a great Friday!


J FAM Blog for the Soul said...

You always make me laugh! I'm gangsta too, but you wouldn't know it! You have like 100 comments your friday confessional was THAT GOOD!
Have a great weekend

Brandy@YDK said...

I love fanfic smut. So good. I'm going to GNO with Sheila tomorrow. Total blow to the ego

Rachel Murphy said...

One of my besties is a fanfic writer of Twilight and she has over 100,000 followers a month. She is really good. Glad your enjoying your reading so much. Also glad you are back.

Hope you get that much deserved not having to go anywhere day!

Have a good one :)

SusanD said...! I don't believe the "you're never going to get cat called again" bit either. Your GNO sounds like tons of fun. Enjoy your smut reading. lol. Blessings, SusanD

Connie said...

I am clutching my pearls because you just called Black Heels to Tracker Wheels SMUT!!

And if I can't scramble into the front seat when I lock myself in the back of my car...then I will definitely not make it as a Fly Girl.

MiMi said...

I want to go on a GNO with you!
They would NOT offer me a free drink though. Promise. No pick up lines, either. I'm do you say...FAT?????

MiMi said...

Also: name the smut. I might need to read it.

MiMi said...

Also: name the smut. I might need to read it.

Jenerally Speaking (aka Life with the Lebedas) said...

I think you could pull off the fly girl! Hang out Brandy, Sheila and I for zumba and you'll be able to lean like a cholo! ;)