Yep. I had one of those moments last week. A moment where I realized I was not like everyone else. I mean, I've always known that I'm weird. Michael reminds me on a regular basis. But this moment was different.
I'll play it out for you.
Bare with me, if it gets lengthy.
I was standing in the hallway of Isaiah's school last Thursday. There were about 5 or 6 other parents standing around with me. We were waiting to go with the kids on a walking field trip downtown. As we stand there, waiting for them to get ready, we begin some casual conversation. Mind you, we were in mixed company...a few dads and a few moms. So, the initial conversation was that of weather, news, and current events.
The conversation started to dwindle and I immediately went for my phone.
I wasn't really interested in conversation anyway. I was more interested in my smut book I had been reading and my thoughts were really on that...what were the characters doing while I was away...what was going to happen next...etc.
So, I began reading and one of the dads made the comment that in 50 years we would all be old and hunched over from all the years we spent looking down at our iPhones. I said "yeah, it'll be a new condition called iPhoneitis." We all laughed a little. I then said that I'm always on my phone, but recently started reading books on there and it was worse.
Out of no where, one of the moms mentioned Twilight and how she liked it. My heart immediately started pounding harder, wondering if she knew that I was a Twihard. Was she directing that at me? She went on to say that she never heard anyone talking about it anymore...and I smirked, but inside I was dying...WHAT?! No one talks about it anymore??? She obviously does NOT live in my world. I wanted to say something, but WHAT? What do you say? "Hello, I'm Jenny and I'm a Twihard...I have the tattoo to prove it." I'm the girl who has the crazy Twilight blog and I throw parties for premiers and make trips to see Twi-stars. She obviously did not know who she was talking to.
So, I kept my mouth shut and merely just nodded my head in slight agreement with her. But she didn't leave it alone. She went on to say that when she first started reading the books, she couldn't put them down...yada yada yada. She then asked me if I had read the books, to which I smirked again and felt an immediate rush of blood to my cheeks. I knew I was blushing. WHY was I blushing? Inside, I'm telling myself "hold yourself together...you can't let them see the crazy." So, I just smiled and said that I loved Twilight and had read the books...12 times. WHAT?!?! Did I just admit to reading the books 12 times?? I wanted to kick myself for letting out that little tidbit of information. What was I thinking? I could feel the other 4 sets of eyes on me. Finally, she spoke back up and said "12 times?" She had a look of awe on her face. I was like "yep. I really love them." She was like "I guess so".
I know they walked away from there thinking crazy thoughts about me.
In that moment, I realized I am not like everyone else...in more ways than one.