I Love You Like A Back-Alley Hooker Loves Crack

I love you like a Kardashian loves publicity.

I love you like a pimp loves hos.

I love you like LiLo loves getting kicked out of rehab.

I love you like Snoop Dogg loves gin...and juice.

I love you like Ryan Gosling loves saying "hey, girl."

Yep, I love you guys that much.

Just wanted to say "thank you" for all of your sweet compliments and encouragement to my Weight Loss post last week!  You guys are awesome!!  It definitely gave me some much needed motivation.  I haven't had a weight loss since the day before I posted that and felt discouraged all last week, but every time I did, I just looked back at some of your comments and kept going.  So, THANK YOU!!!

So, it's V-Day!  Do you have any sugary romantic adventures planned?  I think it's a hyped-up-over-commercialized holiday.  BUT I'm not opposed to a little romance.  I just think it's important to tell those that you love that you love them every day.  We shouldn't reserve it for one day out of the year. 

Side note: Just for the record (Michael, this is where you should really pay attention), if there is not at least a card waiting for me when I get home, do not and I mean, do NOT, ask me "how you doin'" and look at me like you're going to rock my world...'cause it's not happening. 

WHAT?!  I'm still a girl.  I have needs and feelings.

Be sure to tell someone you love them today!

Happy Valentine's Day!  Hope you all have a love-filled day!

Stop by and link up with my girls, Impulsive and Shawn for TTUT!

Up and Down and Around and Around: JK's Weight Story

I can't believe I'm getting ready to out myself like this.  I NEVER and I mean NEVER tell anyone how much I weigh...EVER.  Not my mom.  Not Michael.  Not my BFF.  Not my imaginary friend. 

*deep breaths, JK*

So, here's the deal.  I've struggled with weight my WHOLE life.  Even when I was active in high school, cheering every day and working out all the time.  My weight was still a struggle.  I had to consciously think about what I was eating. 

One time, when I was a Junior in HS, I got down to about 140 pounds.  THEN came college and the "Freshman 15" that I managed to turn into the Freshman 50.  What can I say?  I'm an overachiever. 

I remember when I got married, in 1998, that I had managed to starve myself long enough to get into a 12/14 and I probably weighed about 175lbs. 

We all know that when you get married you gain weight, right?  You're comfortable.  You've "won the prize", so to speak.  In 2002, I weighed about 205lbs and I was so sick of being fat...AGAIN.  I started Weight Watchers that time and it worked like a charm.  I didn't have many distractions.  I was secure in my job.  Michael and I had been married for 4 years.  We didn't have any kids.  So, I spent my time getting skinny.  It was kind of my favorite pastime.  My WW Points were like a game and exercising as much as I could was what I did for fun.  Nine months later, I was down to 132lbs.  The smallest I had EVER been...ya know, after getting boobs and my period and all that fun stuff. 

I managed to keep most of that off, but couldn't quite maintain the 132.  I don't think I'm meant to be that skinny.  I slowly went back up to a comfortable 150.  I felt fine at that weight and it was easy for me to maintain.  I didn't have to work very hard at it and I felt healthy.

THEN, 2004 rolls around and I get pregnant.  And what do you know...I gained back all 72lbs I had lost on WW in the 9 months I was pregnant.  Damn the luck...and the pastries and peanut butter sandwiches and LARGE glasses of milk...and "eating for two".  I think after having Isaiah and realizing that I had just successfully gained back ALL that weight I had worked SO hard to take off, just made me not want to try anymore.  Plus, I had this little baby to take care of.  Who had time to eat right and exercise and get appropriate amounts of sleep...or wash their hair regularly?  Not me. 

The first time I made a solid attempt at losing weight after that was when Isaiah was about 1 1/2.  I had recently seen my EXTRA LARGE ASS in an Easter picture...and I desperately wanted to go on this new birth control and my OB wouldn't prescribe it to me until I was around 190lbs.  Seemed do-able.  I tried really hard, really I did, but I was working our coffee shop...like 16 hours days, taking care of a little guy...and a house...and a husband...and working where I do now on weekends.  If I remember correctly, I got down to about 199lbs.  I just couldn't manage those last 9 pounds.  SO FRUSTRATING. 

Since then, it's been a freakin' roller coaster.  I've been up and down...and up...and up...and then down a little.  My weight has fluctuated from 255lbs (most I've EVER weighed) to 199lbs.  I FINALLY see the light at the end of the 200lbs tunnel again...it's just a mere 1.4lbs away.  I'll probably do a little happy dance when it finally happens.  You know how good it feels to go from one ten to the next, right?  When you don't have to say (or think) 200 anymore, you can say 190something...or for you skinny people, getting out of the 120's and into the "teens".  I think most of us can relate in one way or another. 

I don't know what this go around means for me.  I don't know if I'll make it to my 145lb goal. 

Sure would be nice for my Driver's License to be correct for once. 

All I do know is that I'm taking it one day at a time...sometimes just one meal at a time.  I'm trying not to over think things...trying not to freak out over small set backs.  I'm TRYING to remember that it's NOT what we do at ONE meal or on ONE day, but what we do at all the rest of the meals and on MOST days.  I'm TRYING to remember that I don't ever have to "start over"...I just have to keep going, even if I gain a pound or eat a cheeseburger. 

So, hopefully one of these days, I won't be embarrassed to tell my weight...or wear shorts...or a cute tank top or sleeveless dress.  And maybe, just MAYBE, my thighs won't attempt to combust into flames from friction when I walk.  And perhaps, there won't be three rolls of back fat...or 2 jelly rolls above my pants.  Maybe. 

UP...way way UP.

Down.

My Granny got sick and I put it ALL back on...except for maybe a few pounds...and back UP.

May 2011

Down a little.

What started this weight loss journey to begin with...trying to fit into a size 16 bridesmaid dress that I ordered on-line and had no way of returning and getting a bigger size in time for my cousin's wedding...just barely, but I did it.

I think that little bit of success and me ACTUALLY accomplishing a something I had set out to do, spurred me on to keep losing.

I've lost about 19 pounds since Christmas.  The only difference I can really tell is that those jeans I was wearing that night are baggy now.  Feels good.

When I started tracking my weightloss on My Fitness Pal back in July, my starting weight was 243.  As of today, I've lost about 42 pounds.

Now you know the ugly truth. Not sure how I feel about pushing "publish"...I'm hoping it will keep me accountable and remind me that I don't want to go back. *fingers crossed*

Are you on a weight loss journey?  What are you doing to lose weight or get in shape?  Share it with me in the comments.  I get major motivation from other people's stories!

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" (nothingtastesasgoodasskinnyfeelsnothingtastesasgoodasskinnyfeelsnothingtastesasgoodassk...wait, how does skinny feel again?)

So, I'm Here. Now What Do I Do?

I'm consciously making an effort to blog.  I even made it around to visit a few people...left some comments, corresponded through email...I'm not back in Good Blogger status, but I'm a work-in-progress.

However, now that I'm here, I'm not sure what to say. 


I told Skillz (Impulsive Addict to you) yesterday that I don't feel like my life is exciting...not very "blog worthy". 

I remember a day when everything felt bloggable.  I would think to myself 3 or 4 times a day "ooooooo, I am SO blogging that" *valley girl JK* or "consider yourself blogged, fool" *gangsta JK*

I guess, if this is what I (we all) say it is...a journal of our lives, reflecting on daily activities, and bringing whatever we can to the proverbial "table"...then, I should just be able to sit down on any given day and spew out whatever is swimming around in my brain and call it a blog, right?

Right.

Soooooooo....yeah, I got nothin.

Suppose it might take a while to get back in the groove.

In the mean time, wanna see some iPhonography from the past 4 months.  It'll give you an idea of what I've been up to while I wasn't here.

 Breaking Dawn Part 1 - Midnight showing with Jiff and Impulsive Addict!

I just might have solidified my spot as "Mom of The Year" if I had let those go out in the mail to 21 seven and eight year olds.  Dang it.  What was I thinking going with the store bought invites?

 *end of iPhonography*

Christmas 2011 at ma crib.

 One of my favorite pictures that I took over the holidays.

 A fun day in January just playing around town with my camera, and three of my favorite people...Hannah, Caleb and Isaiah.

In other news...

I'm addicted to Pinterest.  Find me.  We'll pin some crap.  It'll be fun.


I'm trying to lose my FA (that's Spanish for fat ass...say it...out loud..."effay"...sounds Spanish right?).  If you use the My Fitness Pal app, look me up...jennykate77.

"Curly hair, curly thoughts." <---read this in a book and thought it suits me.

Anybody Got a Swiffer? It's Dusty Up In Hur (Here).

*AHHHHHHHHHHH...Ahhhhh...CHOOOOOOOO*  Sorry, dust makes me sneeze.  Ok, and I'm possibly over-dramatic.

I have no idea what I'm doing here...maybe the peer pressure is getting to me, maybe I'm just feeling really rebellious today and feel like "sticking it to the man", maybe I stopped by and felt sad that I haven't been here in so long...IDK? 

I've lost 3 followers in the last few months during my hiatus.  I TOTALLY don't blame them.  I mean, what the hellz are the other 359 of you doing still following my blog??  There is nothing to see here! 

I decided to take a peak at my stats, because let's face it...none of us blog for "us".  That's such a lie to make ourselves feel better when no one comments on a post or no one stops by our blog.  Seriously, people.  You wouldn't keep talking incessantly if no one talked back to you or listened to anything you were saying.  But that's not the point I was making...I'm rambling. *ooooo, shiney penny* <---I have so many of those moments in a day. It's ridiculous.  So, back to what I was saying, I checked my stats, and to my complete and utter dismay, people have been here.  I haven't even been here.  It's kinda weird that even though I have abandoned my little space on the interwebs, other people still stop by.  It's nice.  Makes me think I should come back.  I mean, I do own this place.  It says so...right up there. *points to the top*

So, one of my old (and by that I mean the time we've know each other and not a reference to age) bloggy friends, Mimi @ Living in France, tagged me last week...hoping to bring me out of my Reclusive Blogger status.  I thought, "why not". 

Here's dizzle ma nizzles:

• You must post 11 random things about yourself. (I think I can manage this...everything about me is random.)
• Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.  (Not sure I have time for this...we'll see.)
• Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.  (This isn't going to happen...deal.)
• Go to their blog and tell them that you’ve tagged them.  (I can do this.)
• Legitimately tag 11 people!! (Don't push your luck.)

11 Random Things About JK...hmmmm...

1. I occasionally speak about myself in third person.
2. I like to turn my hip-hop/rap music up so loud in my car that I feel the bass on my ass in my seat.
3. I also perform every morning on my way to work.  You can catch me from 8:10 to 8:50 on HWY 51, but you'll have to break the law to keep up.  I drive like a Cullen.
4. I'm an interactive TV watcher.  I like to talk to the people and yell at them...occasionally profanities.  What?  I'm a passionate person.  Drives M cray. 
5. I've discovered that while I'm restricting my calories (we don't mention the "d" word), I'm a bigger bitch than usual while Aunt Flo is visiting. 
6. I would have killed a mofo for some chocolate last week. 
7. I finally caved on day 3. 
8. Probably saved a few poor souls. 
9. I like to think of it as caving for the greater good. 
10. I know it was the right thing to do, because deep down, I didn't feel bad about it.
11. I kinda just cheated, but whatevs. 

Since I'm bloggin like a baws (boss) today, I might as well kill two birds with one stone and link up with my hookas Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn for their Talk to Us Tuesday!  No rules, just fun!

The DL on JK's RL

Here's the deal pickle. My big boss decided that our accounting server needed to be merged with the main office server. Along with that comes a whole bunch of shiz that makes a sadz sadz JennyKate (yea, I'm referring to myself in the 3rd person...all the cool people do it). He also dropped the bomb that we could no longer store personal information on our work computers AND there would be a new program loaded to the server that would track the activities of each employee. Meaning, at any time during the day, he will be able to know if we're working in work related programs or surfing the Internet or looking at porn or tweeting or blogging...etc, etc. I swear I almost had a heart attack at the staff meeting.

From the first day that I ever blogged, I've always done so from work. I started my blog from work...it's my main place to blog from still today. We all know that I haven't been the world's best blogger anyway and now what the hellz am I supposed to do now??

Connie (from The Young and Relentless <---typing all of that because I have no clue how to link a blog from this thing) told me about the Blogger app for the iPhone, so that's what I'm attempting now. I have a personal computer, just not a lot of time at home to use it. So, we'll see how this goes. I'm going to post a picture just to play around with some of the functions. You'll probably get some wonky posts from me the first few times. AND you'll have to excuse any spelling and grammatical errors. I'm sure I'll make plenty typing from the iPhone. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Forks 2011 - PSA

Since people are wondering if I was bit by Edward and now living in the PNW as Bella's Sister-Wife, I thought I should stop by and say I survived Forks...or Forks survived me.  I don't know which, but I'm back...and sorting through my 569 photos of my #FORKS2011 trip.  I'm trying to decide how to post them and give you guys the full story without boring you to death with a major pic spam. So, I've decided to break them up into several blog posts. This first one consists of pictures from my iPhone. We all know that the real story is on the iPhone. You take pics with your iPhone (or other smart phone) that you wouldn't/didn't/shouldn't/couldn't take with your regular camera.

Think of these next few pictures as my personal Public Service Announcement for traveling to Forks. 

Plan to *squeeeeee* a lot at road signs.  I don't know what it is...just the tangible fact that you're in the land of Twitardia or what, but it initiates this frenzy...you really lose all control.

Go to Sully's.  They give you fangs with your Bella Burger and/or your Twilight Punch.  BUT be careful.  Fangs lead to hours of ridiculousness...and you could get black listed at Sully's.  I'm guess mine and Jiff's names are on there..."those that shall never be allowed to dine here again...from henceforth..." or something like that.

Frisking is what?  Good.  Right.  Do it.  LOTS.  And document it.  You'll thank yourself later.  And the weird dude in the parking lot will thank you too.  I was wondering if perhaps they have a surveillance camera set up to catch all the shenanigans that take place in the parking lot of the Forks Chamber of Commerce?

Go to the Cullen House...right next door to the Chamber of Commerce, if for nothing else than to participate in more shenanigans in Carlisle's Office...and take cheesy pictures in front of the graduation caps.  And the dude that runs the joint is really nice...and they have a pretty white kitty (so, heads up if you're allergic).

EVERYONE capitalizes on Steph's little story...and I mean EVERYONE...from the Forks Hospital to the little shack that sells firewood on your way out of town (Twilight Firewood...really?!  I highly doubt it was called that prior to 2008.)

Re-enact as many scenes as possible.  Come on.  When else will you be able to just walk to the edge of a forest with a cardboard Edward and say "say it...out loud" and your friends just laugh hysterically with you?!  Let me tell you.  NEVER.  So, take advantage of your location.

(while watching Twilight in our motel room that morning, we decided that this is how the "Distract Me" scene should have went down.)

If you run across a wooden lumberjack in the Forks Motel parking lot, it is NOT mounted properly.  Leg hitch with caution...especially while intoxicated.

Don't poop in The Hoh.  It's frowned upon.

Wherever you are...driving down the 101, venturing out into the Olympic National Forest, cruising through La Push...HONK FOR DEER. It's crucial.

We've found that they are quite lethargic and just asking to be hit.  So, do your good deed for the day and save a deers life.  It could be Edward's next meal.

This concludes my PSA for today.

No Pocket Edwards or deer were harmed during these events.  However,  a wooden lumberjack may be a tad bit more unstable.

I'll be back soon with more pics.  You're excited aren't you?  I can tell. 

I'm linking up today with the awesomely funny Impuslive Addict and Seriously Shawn for their Talk 2 Us Tuesday!  You should too...no rules, just fun!

Talking About Forks

 
I'm linking up with two of my verrah verrah favorite girlz, Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn, for a fun new meme titled Talk To Us Tuesday.

The purpose of the meme is really simple...just talk...about whatever. Easy-peasy-japanesy, right?!

I figure I'll just use these link-ups to tell you what's on my mind...which could be scary, or weird, or annoying, or (a combination of all three) about sparkly vampires...

Speaking of sparkly vampires, have I told you I'm going to Forks, WA?  If you ask me what's in Forks, WA, I'll slap you...right through this computer.  Don't look at me like that.  I'm serious.  If you don't know, you can Google it.  Then come back and we'll have a nice normal conversation about a lovely place called Forks where sparkly vampires roam.

*day dream with me for a moment*

You guys do realize that I fully expect to have an encounter with Edward...and you do realize how much comforting and consoling I'm going to need if I don't get that right?  So, keep your calendars open for October 2nd at 9:55pm...that's when my plane lands back in Tulsa.

I'm going on another crazy trip where I don't know anybody in real life, except for my travel buddy, Twitter friend turned Twitard bestie, Jiff Simpson.  We're meeting up with a whole slew of Twitards in Seattle.  A lot of them we've met through blogging and Twitter, but we've never met any of them in person.  Fortunately, I've had several of these types of meet-ups and I've always had an amazing time, so I'm stoked...to say the least. 

I leave in 15 days!!  I could probably tell you the hours, minutes and seconds...but I won't bore you with details.  It's like a pilgrimage to the Promise Land.  I have a check-list a mile long of pictures I MUST take and things I MUST do, but more than anything I hope time slows WAY down the minute I step off that plane in Seattle, so I can enjoy it and soak it all in...and give myself the best chance at shagging snagging a sparkly vampire while I'm there.

Hey, don't look at me like that.  Edward is on my Freebie List!

Want a post card from Forks??  E-mail me your addy!

Hurry over to Impulsive's and/or Shawn's blogs and link up...talk to us!

Facebook 202

A few months ago, I wrote a post titled "My Mother Is On Facebook".  In the post, I laid out some Facebook rules and regulations for the somewhat older crowd.  I've spent quite a bit of time on "The Facebook" in my days, so I feel fairly educated and somewhat of a "professional"...completely certified to give a little advice.

So, recently, I dealt out a little bit of that advice to a certain someone on Impulsive's Facebook page.  This guy is an old HS friend of ours and he's new to the social networking world...apparently he's been living in a van...down by the river...and I'm not even trying to be funny.

We tried to be welcoming to him at first, and by welcoming, I mean we made fun of him openly where all of our mutual friends could point and laugh.  What?!  Everyone should be initiated.  It's only fair.

After a couple of inappropriate Wall Posts, I felt it necessary to set him straight...tell him how the cow eats the cabbage...put him on the Facebook straight and narrow.  Besides, the last Wall Post was on my girl Impulsive's profile and I like to watch out for my friends.

This is how the conversation went down.  Names have been changed to protect the innocent...or the guilty, whichever.

LD Stones wrote: Hey there.:) long time huh. i sure remember our good times now it just seems like we're old.:) i seen u and others had somethin to say about what i said to mona. i was drinkin and 1st time I've been in this world plus i just got over a 3yr relationship. longest I've made it since u. i guess i haven't changed much:) how u been? i hear about u every now and again
August 3 at 9:53am Jenny Kate:  Facebook Rule #1 - Do not post stuff like this and expect smart asses like me to leave you alone...'cause it won't happen.

August 3 at 9:54am Jenny Kate:  Facebook Rule #2 - Do Not drink before commenting on someone's page...well, unless your name is *Impulsive Addict* or *Jenny Kate*...then and only then is it acceptable.

August 3 at 9:55am Jenny Kate:  Facebook Rule #3 - To keep the above from happening, use the message button. It'll save you from being heckled and harrassed...HOWEVER, it is not nearly as fun.

If you have some inappropriate Facebookers in your life, pass these helpful hints on and click on the link above to read my original "Social Networking Guidelines for Baby Boomers and Beyond".

Calling Betty Ford

Remember when I used to blog all the time and I had friends...and I got comments and left them comments.  We even would communicate through email...remember?  Yeah, those were the days.

Well, I would love to get back to those days and I'm trying.  Deep down in my heart I'm REALLY trying.  I think about you guys all the time and I think about a MILLION things I'd like to blog about...well, OK, maybe not a million, but a lot...like at least 100 or 50.

So, this is my effort to get back to blogging.  I'm here.  And I'm posting.  And maybe you'll comment and maybe I'll visit you and comment...and maybe, just MAYBE I'll get all adventurous and respond to your comment in an email...maybe.

Last week, a couple of my blogger friends who still associate with me, even though I'm not a very good blogger anymore, challenged me to go "unplugged" for 8 hours...EIGHT HOURS.  That's eight hours with no iPhone.  Eight hours without tweeting, facebooking, emailing, or playing games.

You don't really know how addicted you are to those things until you go without.  Let me tell you, I'm addicted...A-D-D-I-C-T-E-D. 

"Betty Ford, how can I help you?"

"Uh, yes...I'd like to check myself in."

So, along with Impulsive, Connie and a few other bloggers; I unplugged.

This is what happened whilst I was not plugged in:

Around 3:15 I went into a comatose state.  I finally came back to consciousness around 4:01.  The feeling of knowing that I was plugged back in was glorious.  I can't describe it...it was like being under water and thinking you weren't going to make it back to the top...and you start swimming feverishly...moving your arms and your legs in rapid motion...your life starts to flash before you...you feel your lungs tightening under the pressure from the lack of oxygen...it's really touch and go...and THEN finally, you break the surface of the water and you take a deep cleansing breath and realize you made it.  Yeah, it was kinda like that, except a tad less dramatic...maybe.

A note to Impulsive and Connie: I'm not signing up for this again.  Next time you guys get a wild hair to go back to 1995 and cut out all social interaction, count me out...unless I can save a starving child in Africa or something equally noble.

Go check out Impulsive's and Connie's posts here: Impulsive Addict and The Young and Relentless

Could you unplug?  Have you unplugged and lived to tell about it?  Do tell.

I miss you guys like a fat kid on a diet misses cake.

Friday Daydreamin'

I'm linking up with Becca from The Texas Darlings AND R We There Yet Mom?, a super fun blog dedicated to traveling with kiddos!! She documents her and her family's adventures, along with those of her readers. Becca is now an IRL friend and she is so much fun to hang out with! Trust me, her kids are lucky to call her "Mom"! You need to go check out both of her blogs.



You may want to cut her for being so awesome, but don't 'cause I love her.

Today, I'm linking up with her Friday meme over at R We There Yet Mom? called Friday Daydreamin'. It's just a post where you daydream about where you wish you were...and post a favorite vacation picture! Sounds fun, right?!

The picture below is from a trip we took to Colorado a couple of years ago.  I'm definitely daydreamin' about being here...

My toes were in the icy waters of Jenny Lake up in the Colorado Rockies.  I think it was a balmy 70-something degrees the day we were there...ahhhhhh, 70 degree days.  I sorta remember those.

We've had so many 100+ days, it's ridiculous!!  The temps have kinda gone to my head.  I blame all sorts of things on the weather...bad hair, no make-up, crabby, bitchy, no cooking dinner...sleeping in the nude.  You really can get away with a lot.  Nobody seems to question you much. 

Hopefully, we have some cooler days ahead, but for now, I'm just gonna kick my feet up on my desk and daydream about those cool waters of Jenny Lake...

That is until my boss comes in and busts me.  I'll tell her the heat was getting to me and I felt faint.

Hope you guys have a great Friday!!

It's Hotter Than Hell

Yesterday, our actual temperature in Tulsa was 116 degrees.  You read that right...ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN DEGREES.  People were frying eggs on sidewalks and baking cookies in their cars, which by the way were completely baked in 3 hours.  Seriously.  (sofa king hot)

I posted my Okie Housewife Triple Digit Temp Survival Tips over at The RHOK today.  This will be my last post at The RHOK, so stop by and visit me!  Tell me how you're surviving this heat wave...got any tips/tricks of your own?

Oh, and I googled "hotter than hell" images and this came up in my search...

I'm telling you that Google is so smart.

Hope you're all beating the heat and staying cool!