Friday Confessional : Cuss Word Edition

confucius say: Confessions are good for the soul.
I confess...this one time, at band camp.  Ok, alright.  I never went to band camp.  BUT I did go to cheerleading camp...and this one time I mooned someone from the 10th floor window.  AND then my roommate and I made a poster with our phone number (to our dorm room) and taped it in the window.  There was also a football camp going on at the same time...*achem* boys roomed in the dorms opposite ours.  Need I say more?
I confess...this one time, when I was 5, I told my Sunday School teacher that my Grandpa and I used "little bastards" for bait when we went fishing.  She asked! 
I confess...that last weekend, I got paid back for my indiscretion.  Isaiah was chasing his cousin around the back yard and he yelled out "come back here you little bastard".  Super. #payingformyraising
I confess...that in a moment of heated frustration I cussed (like a bad cuss word) at Michael.  He started laughing uncontrollably, which increased my disdane.  When the tears cleared, he told me that I'm a bad "cusser" I don't know how. WHATEV, Michael.
I confess...since we're talking about cuss words (how did that happen??  I swear I didn't start this out with the intention of writing a whole post about cussing.), I should confess that I like to use made up cuss words.  For example, "holy shiz", "hellz no", and the mother of all made up cuss words (that is not APPROPRIATE in any way, shape, or form...but I use WAY TOO often) "sofa king"...go ahead, say it...out loud (<---Twi reference, if you got it.)  It's bad, right?!...but sofa king funny. (I did NOT just say that). 
What is wrong with me?! 
I'm going to hellz. 
I need to repent. 
Oh, wait that's right. 
I just confessed. 
Ok, it's all good.
Happy Friday! 
Hope your weekend is sofa king awesome! <---I DID NOT just say that!  Get ahold of yourself, JK.  Geez. 


19 comments...I love comments:

Brandy@YDK said...

you crack me up. i love your face.

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

What someone uses for bait is not a Sunday School teacher's concern.

I didn't used to be but now am a little concerned about you. I'm not sure that you had a proper upbringing on cussing. It appears that you do know how to do camp right though.

I confess that I use the word "though" too much. I did a wordle on my blog and up came that word.

I didn't bother me though. Though I think it can be used too much, though I don't think I do.

Mamarazzi said...

sofa king is an all time favorite of mine. i admit when i am home and it is just me and my hubby i fly fast and loose with the eff bomb. it just feels good. i don't think i have ever used it in an insulting way, mostly just for humor.

it's how i roll.

love your pass to heaven if you link them up every week. true story.

Anonymous said...

My favorite one I made up is jackhole. It's obviously a combination of jackass and asshole. I use it a lot in traffic. My kids have both said shit before. Oops!

Kat said...

Lols - this reminds me of my Hubs, who never swears, so when he does try to, it's just hilarious.

Demanda said...

You're sofa king my # 1 girl crush <3

Myya said...

I love that Isaiah said that to his cousin... that is sofa king awesome! By the way I am sofa king going to use sofa king all the sofa king time! HILARIOUS!!!

I am a super duper BIG potty mouth so at least by saying sofa king I will clean it up a notch. Right??

MiMi said...

I'm laughing sofa king hard! Probably gonna pee my pants!
This reminds me of the naughty things I said when I was 2. I was a potty mouth from an early age.

Impulsive Addict said...

Every time I see you write sofa king, it makes me giggle sofa king loud!! I just love it. And I think you started a new trend. Let's see how long before Hollywood starts tweeting it!!

Becca said...

You are sofa king funny.

and I am sofa king not original.....

Oh well, you love me just the same...


Becca said...

You are sofa king funny.

and I am sofa king not original.....

Oh well, you love me just the same...


Ambs said...

Love your blog! I'm a new follower and wanted to leave some blog-love :)
I need to learn some alternate cuss words... my nephew has learned a few choice ones from this auntie... not cool!
Hope you had a great weekend!

Connie Weiss said...

I will not be picking up your SOFA KING....because it's bad enough that I have my daughter saying dammit....I don't need her saying sofa king. Because you know she will.

I want to know....did anyone call?

I confess that I like to hug people when I drink wine. :)

ShaRhonda said...

JK I'm slow! Slow at reading and slow at crack me up! I am giving u a present at our next RHOK Out!

Date Girl said...

you are sofa king funny! Loves it. Lil bastard, you really said that to your Sunday School teacher? Hahahaa. I'm a terrible cusser, especially in traffic. I'm trying to mend my sinning ways though, so I things like cheese and rice and hesus christo.

Jenerally Speaking said...

You are too funny!

AndreaLeigh said...

sofa king? blonde hat.. I don't get it.

Considering Cooper busted out my nose spray and pretended to spray it the other day, I think him copying my bad language is just around the corner.

Xazmin said...

Haha....I love your guts Jenny!

What are little bastards that you use for fishing? Because that's what my grandma called now I do too!

I use made up cuss words too! Tanielle and I have a whole list! It's the bomb-diggity!

I loved your confessions, and cussing confessions are hilarious, so I'm glad you did a whole post about cussing. I miss you!

momof3girls said...

Your confessions made me giggle! I think your confessions is a good illustration for my mom's saying "your sins will find you out". :)