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10.15.2010

Friday Confessions - A Miniature Vampire-napping


So, I've been putting this off all week...just waiting for the right time to tell you guys.

It's still a little hard to put into words.  You may think totally different of me after this, but the time has come to confess...

It's Friday Confessions.


Rewind to September 22, 3 weeks and 2 days ago, something horrible happened.  Michael, my darling husband, STOLE MY POCKET EDWARD!!!!  That's right.  He took it straight from my purse...Pocket Edward's safe place.  But that's not the horrible part.  The horrible part is that I didn't even know.  I can't believe I'm confessing to this.  I did not even realize it was missing...for 2 weeks!  Do you want to know when I realized it was missing?  When they...Michael, my darling husband, and David, my cousin Allison's darling husband...they returned it to me.  It was not until I opened the Fed-Ex package from David that came to my door last Friday, opened the box, found the "ransom note", and unrolled A Pocket Edward from a roll of paper towels.  I really should show you the video...it's the only way to get the full effect, but it is the MOST embarrassing thing EVER...it could possibly scare small children, shows just how fat I am, and solidifies my spot as the most annoying person I know.  So, I'm not showing it.  Perhaps you've followed all of this on Facebook and you've already seen the video...my apologies.

Here is a little back story, so you'll understand how and why Edward was hijacked.

A month or so ago, David put out a message on Facebook that Master Chief (a character from the game Halo...that Michael and David play frequently) could and was going to take out Pocket Edward.  Well, you know that I immediately told Allison that I needed her help and that she must protect Pocket Edward...no matter what.  She totally did and took care of Master Chief...er, I mean Pocket Edward totally took care of MC...he ripped him apart, limb from limb.  Allison posted a picture of the pieces of MC in front of Edward.  David declared war.  A couple of days later, he had formulated this plan to hijack my Pocket Edward and asked Michael if he could get mine and send it to him...in Arizona.  Michael said that he might need a few days, but he could do it.

This is where I feel horrible.

How did I not even know he was missing??!!  I'm the worst Pocket Edward owner EVER! EVER! EVER!

David had Pocket Edward for TWO WEEKS!

When he finally sent Pocket Edward back to me, he sent the note and it said "Stay tuned to Facebook to see where I have been."  So, that's been my torture and punishment for the last week.  Although, I have my Pocket Edward back with me and he's safe and sound...I check on him frequently...now, I have to wait and see WHERE he's been.  NOT fun!

So far, MC has had his way with PE...take a look at some pics David has posted on Facebook so far...



Good news is that PE has been well taken care of since he's been home...


He's had a nice bubble bath...
been wiped down with Purell...
and been through Pocket Therapy...
I am Edward Cullen...
I am a vampire.
He is back in his safe place


and I am plotting my revenge.

Master Chief has it coming to him...and he's gonna get it.


Stay tuned.

15 comments...I love comments:

Mamarazzi said...

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! really funny post, even though i am not a Twilight fan. i find it a total scream that there was ransom bwah hahaha...oh the hilarity!!

funny, my Friday post is a confessional also!!

Mom Mayhem says: said...

LOL! Well, it looks like pocket Edward had a -um -interesting time -Glad he's back safe and sound :)

~The Robin's Nest~ said...

OH.MY.GOODNESS! It's been a LONG time since I have laughed so loud!
This has got to be the funniest post EVER! What a crack up! I'm so glad I wasn't drinking coffee when I saw the picture of MC spanking Edward-I would have spewed coffee all over my monitor! Priceless!

By the way... I'm going to Forks this weekend. Can I pick you up something?

Robin~♥

shortmama said...

That is so funny!

MiMi said...

omagosh. I'm laughing SO hard right now!!
The kids can't figure out what's up with Mommy! : )
Thanks for making my day. And I'm so glad that PE is back.
I hope you have a leash on your boy...if PE can go missing and it doesn't catch your attention, then I'd be skeered! lol!

Kelli said...

You should absolutely take him down!!!! And don't feel bad...we all take our loved ones for granted and just think they will always be there...lesson learned. I'm sure he's happy to be home.

Life with Kaishon said...

You are the funniest girl in the whole wide world Jenny Kate! I could not love you more if I tried. Seriously!

I LOVE the ransom pictures your husband took. How funny is he :)

And I LOVE the bubble bath. You are the best.

Connie W said...

LOOK OUT EDWARD!!!

There's a giant BLUE BIRD behind you!!

Becca said...

I was wondering about those FB posts.....

Go get um tiger!

~Becca

Vivienne said...

Hello? Oklahoma Department of Mental Health? Yes, hi. I am calling from California. I'm wondering if it's possible to request a site visit. There's a woman named JennyKate out there. I was wondering if someone from your office could drive out and check on her. No... I'm not a relative. No... I've never actually met her. No... this isn't a prank call. Look, I just think someone should drive out and check on her....

wife.mom.nurse said...

poooooor Edward...I hope he will recover!

You are just too funny! Thanks for the laugh :)

Baloney said...

I love this.

Vic said...

you are by far making me laugh my ass off......thanks so much my dear!:) i'll be staying tuned for sure!:) have a nice weekend!

Vic said...

you are by far making me laugh my ass off......thanks so much my dear!:) i'll be staying tuned for sure!:) have a nice weekend!

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Oh darlin', are you going to be okay? So glad to hear PE is back, home, safe, where he belongs. Now, don't take your eyes off him! :)